I always wondered...

Could never figure out why someone would move their blog. Now I have followed suit. You can find me in my new home over on WordPress.

Halloween!

Tolido was a darling grinning dragon this year...

A Citizen!

Today we took Tolido to pick up his Certificate of Citizenship at the San Antonio office of the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services!



He is now a full-fledged American.



Congratulations little one!
Love,
Mom and Dad

Continuing Sickness...

My child is losing his hearing. He seems quite happy with the situation but it's a bit alarming to me. Anyhoo tomorrow morning we have an appointment with the doctor to get him looked over. He looks sorta like I look when I feel like I've been run over by a bus. Pinkeye, a gift from pre-school, has his eyes red and watery with green crud floating around in them. Two nights ago he rubbed the hell out of them and popped a blood vessel in one. When he looks to the side the blood spot is big and bright red. His sinuses are draining incessantly and he has a nagging cough. He hasn't been tugging at his ears or seeming the least bit concerned about them. He'll be thrilled to death to see the doctor come at him with an ear scope first thing tomorrow morning. ;) This morning it simply would not do to have Daddy pry his eyes open and he asked Daddy to get Mommy to apply a warm wet compress to his eyes to clear the dried crud. I swear it felt like it was 3AM and I really didn't want to get out of bed. BUT this was the very first time he ever preferred Mommy's help over Daddy's so you bet I was there!! :)

Sickness Go Away!

Introduce three days of pre-school each week and life becomes a constant battle to stay healthy. 'Course it probably doesn't help that the two of us who know better walk a fine line about really getting enough sleep and downtime around here. :) The newest sickness to sneak in... PINKEYE! Yay!...or not. Definitely not. Crusty, cruddy, crappy eyes are NO fun. Considering the host is a toddler, the eyes get rubbed, nose gets rubbed, hands go in mouth and onto every surface in sight. Ugh! I'd really really prefer to not get pinkeye so... we're going overboard in the hand washing and laundry departments. Wonder how long the stuff lives on all the toys in his toy room?

My Cubicle

I'm LUCKY! My husband works in "cubeland". He also works in a place I'm not allowed to enter because I'm not an employee. So I'm not absolutely sure he actually has a job; however, he does seem to be getting a paycheck so, it works. Anyway he describes cubeland as a vast room divided into small spaces by six-foot walls and an intricate maze of hallways. Hmm. I wonder if he and his "cubemates" are really just rats in an experiment.

I also work in a cube. Mine is spacious, carpeted, decorated in sage green, walnut brown, white and silver. I have three windows and double glass doors. There are no other cubes - no cubeland. The cafeteria is about ten feet away. I can open the windows and listen to the wind and the birds and the bees. It's peaceful in my cube. I like it that way.

And this is my view out the center window between my two monitors. Sitting at my desk, if I look straight ahead, this is what I see...

An Office Troll

I got a funny new chair for my office. Almost exactly a year ago I began having pretty severe back problems and eventually found relief by sitting on an exercise ball while working at my desk. Problem was that every time I got up to do something the ball would silently roll away and I'd have to chase it down. It eventually annoyed me enough to get my attention and I looked for something to stabilize the ball. So I got this new chair that, from some angles, looks like a fat little dinosaur. It's wonderful and I am very happy with it. But one morning I found a little troll on top of it quite happy with himself! ....and no, my office isn't always such a mess. This was in the middle of ransacking and rearranging. :)

Coming Back to the Ground.

Life's been a little crazy around here lately. At work I've been in the homestretch of a three year migration of all equipment from one location to another. This was the heavy lifting, anything that can go wrong will go wrong part. It was a bit stressful. There were many long nights I thought would never end. Fortunately, I had the help of two wonderful guys I've known for years and who are far more technically adept than I am.

Once the new equipment was moved, we had to empty the old location of retired and dead equipment. Old servers, old UPSs, old steel server racks and miscellaneous cables and wires. Again, I had the help of two shining stars in my life - Ken and Tolido. At one point, Ken and I locked ourselves out of the office. Tolido was standing at the top of the stairs above the office entry where he could see out the glass doors on the other side of which we stood... without keys. Being the confident and savvy little soul that he is, he tackled the stairs and came on down to the door to fetch his parents. When he got to the door, we asked him to push *really* hard on the release lever... and YAY!! Tolido rescued Mommy and Daddy! Amazing kid.

And so all the old equipment was hauled home to the garage. On the way we stopped at Lowes and stopped again to meet my brother and sister-in-law for dinner hoping that someone would come along and steal something off the trailer... no such luck. A few days later, after I'd sorted the salvageable from the crap, I headed out again with the truck to the computer Goodwill. I warned the guys there that the stuff was crazy heavy and helped offload a few pieces before a strapping young gentleman came along. Giving us a look like we were rather pathetic, he went to hoist a battery pack for a UPS out of the truck and very nearly dropped it on his foot. I sweetly asked him if he needed any help. :)

After the moving project was finished I turned my attention to getting the house ready to host a two-day work meeting with ten out-of-town guests. Before I even got to the cleaning the house bit, I decided to upend my office - removing the old bookcase and desk and carting off the cabinets to the garage to be painted white. I decided to turn one of the old server racks into a desk which involved painting it and figuring out how to add shelves to it. I also would need a plank for the top for a writing surface. Oh, and that plank would need to be stained.



And then I decided to paint the white bathroom brown one night about midnight. It's taken us two and a half years to decide on the perfect color. At one point it was going to be fuchsia...

The bathroom cabinet had a wood top with a marine varnish that had begun to flake. It was starting to look pretty bad and I didn't want the wood to start warping. So we decided to add an aluminum surround to top of the cabinet over the wood. I got the aluminum, Ken cut it, and my dad found a place to get it polished so it absolutely gleamed.



I told my mom the house was a wreck before she got here. She had no idea! It was really more on par with the results of a tornado's direct hit. She stepped right into the middle of the mess and started on one little cleanup project after another. And she got out the camera to document what sleepless parents look like... ;)



Oh, and then there was the yard. Ken had spread a dump truck load of dairy fertilizer on the lawn and the volleyball court just before it started raining for four days. Typically one rakes the fertilizer into the grass immediately after spreading it. After days of rain, it was a couple days of tough work from Dad and Ken getting it to settle into the grass with a rake.

So we cleaned and painted and vacuumed and dusted and raked and did laundry and cleaned counter tops and figured menus and sent the guys to the store for groceries (a story in itself) and rearranged and mowed and prepped beds for guests and I can't remember what else for a week. I know the lot of us were up most nights until 2am.

And then it was time for the meeting. Rave reviews all around. Late nights with many margaritas and really good food. It was a fantastic time. By the time we got everyone off to the airport, we were dead on our feet. And then a neighbor showed up with a freaking huge backhoe to dig ten holes in the backyard for fruit trees - apricots, peach, plum, tangerine, almond, cherry, apple, avocado and something else. We all fell asleep to the clanking of a backhoe... not sure I should be awake yet.

All You Need is Love!

Tolido's World

In Tolido's world you gotta watch out for a bored mommy with a ball point pen and a cute face to draw on!

New Clothes

He's about grown out of them since it's taken me SO long to get back to the blog, BUT... I made Tolido seven shirts with matching pants and shorts. They turned out adorable. I think this one is my favorite. ;)

When I was little my mom apparently sewed enough that I got tired of her sewing machine and tried to beat it to death with a hairbrush. When I sew, Tolido will sit on my lap and watch or point at the pin cushion and say, "ouch!" He picks up all the fabric scraps on the floor and throws them in the trash or rides his rocking horse like a bandit in the sewing room. And whenever a shirt becomes recognizable as such, he walks over and points to it and says, "Todo" and grins. He is a far more patient two and a half year old than his mother was...

He loves his new clothes and all the attention he gets from them. And if you ask where he got them, he'll say, "Mommy!" I like that part. :)

Tolido's 1st days of Days of School

Tolido is a big boy now! He goes to school three days a week - leaves with Daddy when he goes to work and comes home with Daddy at the end of the day. I love it. Tolido loves it too. Everyday we get a report card - seems excessive to me but, it's kinda fun too. The very first day the "Note to parents" section said, "Awesome first day!!! He's a very good kid. :) We loved having him in the class." Wow! Great job, Wingnut! He got a bowl of ice cream just 'cuz Mommy was SO very proud of him. And so it has continued. He gets a little clingy when Daddy walks him up to the door of the school and sometimes he fusses. But the teachers say he is happy all day at school and he's getting lots of interaction with other children which is something he was desperately lacking hanging with Mommy all day at home. They only speak Spanish to him at school and that seems to be sinking in. He now says "si!" instead of "yes" and calls cookies "galletas". He wears a little uniform to school and looks so grown up. Yesterday he came home with an "incident report" because another little kid bit him on the arm. Apparently Tolido just let him bite. I explained to him that there are more effective solutions to discouraging biters... ;) So school seems to be agreeing with T and the quiet time apart is agreeing with Mommy too.

Poor Neglected Blog

Oh... hmmm. I sometimes wonder if I should continue my blog. I have my hands in so many things that this poor little blog is often relegated to the foot of the totem pole.

Since I last posted here I've relocated all the servers for my company. I've hosted several big parties. I've fought with a crazy neighbor who's accusing me of things I've only *thought* about doing... so far. Tolido has started school. I have survived what Ken is sure was the swine flu. And I've been on a 16-day vacation in which we drove 4080 miles and visited family in Iowa, Virginia and Alabama. I think that's about it. Oh...and I still have that little thing they call a full-time yob. ;)

And then there is the interference of Facebook. It's just hard to keep up with both.

Postings may be intermittent but, for now, I will try to keep going with this... just for my HUGE following. ;)

New Words!

We have new words: comb, turtle, hippo (bow bow), bear, mouse, man, broom, bus, hand, help, girl, hair, ear, cat, bird, doll, juice, toe, cow, up, out, green, snake, truck, milk and FOOD (his favorite). I have a very stubborn, very stubborn little man. I've met ornery mules that were more tractable. But I am encouraged. You should hear him say turtle - so frickin cute!

Oh Please Speak....

This morning I made the mistake of putting my foot down and insisting that Tolido at least TRY to say the word P O T T Y. "Pah' Tee" It was stupid on my part but I'm so tired of him not making progress where speech is concerned. I last posted about this mid-April. Since then we've had a grand total of THREE new words. Oh, come on, really?! Really. I can say, "Tolido, Please wash your hands, throw the wipe in the trash then go pick up the towels off the floor and take them to the laundry room and then clean up your playroom." He'll do it. I can ask him to stop playing, go upstairs, take off his clothes and get into the tub. He does it. He's not stupid. He understands every word. His vocabulary comprehension-wise is immense. But he SAYS little. He knows all his colors but will only say "blue." He says "Daddy" incessantly which is just about to drive both Daddy and Mommy completely nuts. He does a lot of pointing and says "eh" to show us what he wants. I think that for too long we have been naming things he points at with too little required in return. We talk to him. We read to him. We have now decided that he will get no more given to him without verbal work on his part. I've printed up 100 pretty flashcards with pictures of things he should be able to say. He will learn these. I will read books to him without pause until he begins to speak. I've taken his favorite toys out of the toy room and placed them along the edge of the bar. He can see them but can't reach them. We just explained to Tolido that he must tell Mommy what he wants, by name, if he wants to play with them. He is not happy. You should see the little glaring looks!! Tolido speech has, today, become my obsession. I shall flood his brain with words! :)

Memorial Day 2009

Freedom Isn't Free
~ Kelly Strong

I watched the flag pass by one day.
It fluttered in the breeze.
A young Marine saluted it,
and then he stood at ease.
I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud,
He'd stand out in any crowd.
I thought how many men like him
Had fallen through the years.
How many died on foreign soil?
How many mothers' tears?
How many pilots' planes shot down?
How many died at sea?
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?
No, freedom isn't free.

I heard the sound of TAPS one night,
When everything was still
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.
I wondered just how many times
That TAPS had meant "Amen,"
When a flag had draped a coffin
Of a brother or a friend.
I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.
I thought about a graveyard
At the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, freedom isn't free.

On this Memorial Day we remember our troops of today and yesterday and their families who have given so much to our country and on her behalf. God bless you all. And thank you.

Mi Angelito

Such a wise and loving spirit behind the dark eyes of this little creature. It's so much fun that it's so easy to capture his cuteness. He's my Wingnut and I love him...

A Sticky Solenoid

I took many solo trips across the country in my car while in high school and college. It was an old diesel Mercedes. It was my dad's car before it was mine. He used to travel the country selling diamonds and other precious gems. He had many interesting friends - one of them quite good at booby trapping cars. When my dad drove it, the car was rigged. In 1980, before most cars came with alarms as standard equipment, this car had an alarm that could be remotely activated. Not only did a siren scream, the lights flashed, the steering wheel locked, and tear gas exploded from under the driver's seat. No shit. There was a wire in the trunk that, when pulled, would allow escape from the locked trunk should one ever find oneself in such a position. This was the only cool thing not disabled before I got the car. My brother and I learned to drive at the same time. I was 18 and he was 16. My dad decided we had to learn to drive a manual transmission before we were allowed to drive an automatic. In the course of learning, we blew out the clutch. Betcha didn't know it was possible to drive a manual without a clutch. Anyway, my dad picked up an engine jack and all the parts needed for a clutch replacement. He opened the do-it-yourself Mercedes 240D manual to the correct section and told us to let him know if we had any questions. He then walked into the house and sat down to read a book. We wanted to drive so we whined and cussed and sweated and skinned our knuckles and fixed the damned car. When we fired it up and it actually ran just like it should I fell in love with working on my own car. My brother, on the other hand, swore he'd find a way to make enough money he'd never ever work on a car again. So, a year later on summer vacation, I'm crossing the country at a bargain - sleeping in rest areas, showering in truck stops for $2.00 and enjoying the freedom of the open highway. I often had problems with the starter in the car - likely because I bought a series of refurbished starters. And the starter solenoid was constantly "sticky." To start the car normally, one had to turn the key to the on position and then pull out a handle on the dash to allow the dash-mounted glow plug to heat up. Once it was good and red you pulled the handle all the way out and the engine would turn over. When the solenoid was sticking, you had to precede all of this nonsense with beating on the solenoid housing. I used an 18" metal mag light for this purpose. In the middle of one of my trips, the problem became so bad that I had to have someone else beat on the solenoid while I did the whole glow plug magic in the car. So, I'm at a rest stop... I wake up and get ready to get on the road. In front of my car is a tractor trailer. I walk up to the side of the tractor and knock on the door. I ask the man inside if he'll help me start my car and hand him the flashlight. We get the car started and hang out talking for a few minutes. He's hauling bales of cotton. He showed them to me - they are enormous and wrapped around the middle with brown paper. The raw cotton is sticking out each end. He asks if I'd like to see the inside of his truck. Heck yeah. So we crawl up in the truck and it's pretty fascinating. We get out a map and show each other where we're from. He offers to let me drive his truck to the end of the rest stop. Thanks, but no. Anyway, finally I thank him for helping me, say goodbye and climb down out of the truck. I get in my car and head out. As I'm pulling away from a line of trucks, some guy flashes a handful of fanned out $20s at me. I drive away wondering about that. Twenty miles down the road, I finally figure it out. ;)

Tolido's "Pool"

Since it's only slightly cooler than the surface of the sun in TX in the summer, we got Tolido a "pool" to cool his toes.


From Tolido's perspective, it was a drinking fountain he could sit in...

Batface

Ken went off in search of more plants for our driveway circle. They have to be blazing sun tolerant and at least deer resistant. I'd personally prefer a plant that would send deer to the great pasture in the sky but that's another story... So he came home with a bunch of green things. As I was surveying his collection in the back of his truck, he reached into the middle and pulled out one which he proudly announced was a "batface." The lady at the nursery described it to Ken who immediately said, "I must have one of those!" Apparently the flowers are red and look like tiny bat faces. So we've been waiting for them to appear. Just now Ken walked into my office with a little red flower on the end of a tube and it looks just like a tiny bat face! See...

A White Girl!

My brother and I attended college on opposite sides of the country. In the winter of '92 a girlfriend and I drove from California to New York to visit. The trip out was wild. The Eastern half of the country was covered in a blinding snowstorm and, at times, we were the only car on the road with the 18 wheelers. In Tennessee we stopped at the first light we'd seen in hours to get something to eat. The news said interstates were being closed and driving should be limited to emergencies. We were in a bar/hotel/restaurant/truckstop and, as the hours passed, I began to feel that hanging out all night with a bunch of drunk, stranded truckers might not be wise. So we drove off into the snow and made it the rest of the way to NY without mishap. The visit was, of course, wonderful. The weather on the trip home was much nicer. At that time I was driving a 1970 Mercedes 240D. I knew a lot about working on my car - if I didn't keep it running, I had no wheels. Somewhere in the middle of New Mexico, I saw another '70s vintage Mercedes broken down on the opposite side of the interstate. Over howls of disbelief and protest from Christine, I slowed down, crossed the median and pulled up behind the other car. I got out to find two brothers and their sister waiting on mechanics from the closest town. Somehow two of the belts on their car had broken. Back then I was the queen of spare parts and happened to have the belts they needed. Just after we arrived, so did the mechanics with SAE tools. The Mercedes engine is completely metric. We sent them home. I donned my coveralls got out my tools and put the belts on the car. When I was done, we all shook hands and the sister said, "I can't wait to tell Momma a white girl fixed your car!" I grinned and wished them well and Christine and I headed back toward California.

Mmmmm... Pecan Pesto.

On a whim, because the neighbor was getting rid of a bunch of railroad ties, we decided to put in a raised garden. I went to the nursery, got more tomato plants, three types of squish (squash in my world - I think it sounds cooler), jalapeno, bell and Serrano pepper plants and cilantro and basil. Stuck 'em all in the dirt/compost and then it FINALLY rained in TX. The garden is flourishing. :) Yesterday I noticed the basil getting pretty tall so I chopped it off and turned it into pesto. 'Course I just sorta threw it all together but this is roughly the recipe.

4 cups fresh basil leaves
1/2 cup olive oil
1/3 cup toasted pecans
2 garlic cloves
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 teaspoon coarse kosher salt

Toast the pecans by broiling them on a cookie sheet for about one minute. Watch them closely. You want them to be browned but not blackened. Combine the first four ingredients in a blender. Blend until paste forms. Add both cheese and salt. Blend until smooth. If the paste is too thick, add more olive oil. Toss pesto with pasta until lightly coated. Enjoy!;)

Chance Encounters...

Back in 2000, I was stranded in the Dallas airport because the airport windsock was standing out horizontally from its mast. They shut DFW down every time I fly through just to make me crazy. Walking the interminable length of the terminal, looking for something, anything, to eat, I saw a girl with a McDonald's bag. I walked over and asked where I could find McDonald's. When she started speaking, I realized two things: she was from some other country and she was obviously smarter than me because she'd mastered two languages. She pointed me in the direction of the restaurant. I said thank you and went off to exchange far too much cash for a Quarter Pounder with cheese and fries. Facing what would likely be a long, boring stretch in the terminal, I went dragging back in the direction from which I'd come. I staked out a spot, ate my dinner and waited patiently for confirmation that I would be spending the duration of the night on a cot, under fluorescent lights with commercial vacuums roaring around me. About 10PM, they lured us all into a line with the promise of a free night in a hotel. I found myself standing just in front of the girl with the McDonald's bag and just behind two friendly but very tired older ladies. I struck up a conversation with the girl while the ladies casually listened. Turns out she was from Poland. She'd spent the summer before working in Yellowstone where she'd met a man and fallen in love. He lived in Utah and she was traveling from her home in Poland with nothing but a wedding dress, a few clothes and a treasured pencil sketch rolled into a mailing tube. She wasn't much younger than me but she struck me as bold and adventurous and VERY interesting. The hotel thing didn't pan out so all four of us got in the next most promising line for a cot. We all scored cots and I suggested we go down to the bar for a few drinks. The ladies declined but offered to watch or things. Agata and I went to the bar. We sat up most of the night talking and drinking beer. We talked about Poland and people and life and boyfriends and friendship. Finally we found our cots and tried to sleep. The next day the airport slowly began sending planes skyward again and we both boarded for SLC. When we arrived, Agata and I ran into each other again in baggage claim and her boyfriend, soon to be husband, offered to drive me to my destination. I declined as I already had a shuttle. In our brief meeting I liked him. I thought they'd be happy together. We exchanged email addresses and they were gone. I've never seen Agata again. We exchange email occasionally and Christmas cards every year. She and her husband are now living in Yellowstone and she has a new baby.

Sometimes people brush you off when you ask them to do something random. Sometimes they don't. When they don't you've met someone interesting. They always have good stories to share and you'll likely think about them for years afterward. This was true of my night at DFW with Agata.

Wednesday evening I clicked on my link to the Habesha Child blog and learned that Elsa's mom was in Austin visiting her sister for a few days. She'd just posted some great pictures of one of my favorite Texas BBQ haunts. Anybody who loves Rudy's Country Store has got to be my kind of person. I decided to write and see if she'd be interested in meeting for coffee. Asked to do something random, she responded enthusiastically and we set up a date for the next morning. Ken did think I was nuts. He's kinda wonderful that way. :) Tolido and I pulled into the parking lot and found two lovely ladies waiting to hug us. :) We went inside, grabbed a table and some coffee and hit if off immediately. We never stopped talking and laughing. Elsa's mom has adopted a little girl, Elsa, from Ethiopia who is about Tolido's age. She has traveled extensively in Ethiopia and was a wealth of information, stories and good advice. We'll definitely be talking again as our travel date gets closer. Tolido, little friendly thing that he is, seemed quite excited to have new friends to impress and found lots of common ground in playfulness. Should I never run into Elsa's mom or Elsa's mom's sister again, I will remember our chance meeting fondly. They were both very interesting, intelligent, warm, animated, and generous with their limited time together. I'm thrilled at having had the chance to meet both. I look forward to a time we'll see each other again and get to meet the darling Princess Elsa.

Victory and Shoe Laces

Sometimes it so easy to identify with silly joy! Tolido will get so frustrated trying something that he's about ready to cry. I'll continue to encourage him and maybe give a little tug on a shirt collar or angle his shoe just a bit more or guide his hand ever so slightly. Sometimes I'll just stay close. Suddenly, it works. IT WORKS! Ah the JOY and PRIDE. It just spills out of him in a cry, a shout, and a giddy giggle with I-DID-IT-ALL-BY-MYSELF victory splashed across his face in wide eyes and a huge grin. Sometimes he even throws in a victory dance. I SO get this.

This morning Tolido decided he would tackle the problem of tying his shoe laces. Okay.... big bites! He gets his shoes on and I tighten up the laces so they are ready for tying. And then (it's so funny to see his interpretation of the things I do) he puts both hands and all ten fingers into the action of aggressively "tickling" the shoelaces. Suddenly he stops with a "tah-dah" flourish and looks at the laces. He seems a bit crestfallen that no bow has materialized. Mama, help! Yes, Tolido. I give him many points for the attempt and the entertainment value I got from it. ;)

Mr Mischief

Last week I was out taking pictures of all the wildflowers blooming in the yard. I was on my knees getting a closeup of a tiny flower with Tolido beside me. Suddenly he says, "Mama!" I don't immediately respond and he again says, "Mama!" I stop and look at him. "What do you want, Tolido?" He points to a fire ant mound close to my feet and says, "No no!" "Okay, Tolido, I see it. Thanks for pointing it out." I go back to taking my picture. The second I do, I hear, "Mama!" "Yes, Tolido?" "No no!" "Okay Tolido, I'll move." I do. He is happy. He lets me take my picture.

A while later Mr. Mischief has decided flowers are boooring and is trying his level best to be a camera hog. Here's his ornery mug:

Spicy Hot!

A few days ago Ken and I were standing around the island in the kitchen snacking on tortilla chips and salsa. In wanders Tolido. He can be a mile away and yet he KNOWS when someone is in the kitchen.

Tolido: Mama?
Me: What do you want, Tolido?
Tolido places his index finger on his chin. (translation: Feed me!)
Me: It's hot, Tolido.
Tolido again places his index finger on his chin.
Me: Okay, T.
I dip a chip in the salsa and give it to him. He eats it and again places his finger on his chin. I give him another. (He likes salsa too.)
Tolido: (eyes starting to water) Wa!!! (translation: Water! Now!)
I give him a big glass of cold water. He sucks it down.
Again, finger on chin.
Me: Do you want salsa with your chip?
Tolido: No!

Today we met Daddy at a Mexican restaurant for lunch. The waitress placed chips on the table. Tolido's eyes lit up. Then she set down a bowl of salsa. Tolido instantly said, "Hot!" How cute. We laughed. "Yes, Tolido, it's hot." :)

Boundaries

I found this in a comment I read on another blog. It is from Amina's Mama. "Sometimes, when a child comes into the picture, you get a better idea of where you need to put boundaries up with people." Truer words were never spoken.

We have a very well behaved child. We like to think it's because we are mindful of his needs - we remember his nap times and his breakfast, lunch and dinner times. We are attentive to his wants and we set strict, easily understood boundaries. We give him choices and allow him to experience the consequences of his choices. We play with him on his terms. We play with him on our terms. We read to him. We include him as a full-fledged member of the team. We look for ways to reward him unexpectedly for just being a good boy versus rewarding specific behaviors. It's fun to surprise him this way and he just glows when we do.

So often we hear, "Tolido is such a good kid and a joy to be around." "Tolido is such a happy child!"

We expect our child to behave. We expect him to ask for the things he wants versus whining for them. We expect him to act like a human child and not a wild animal. He understands these expectations and lives up to them. It wasn't easy. It takes time. It takes consistency. It takes practice. It takes planning and forethought. It probably helps that I work from home and we have many opportunities to reinforce these expectations. It probably helps that we have only one child on whom to concentrate.

One thing we don't allow in the house is screaming. We have plenty of room outside for screaming. When Tolido wants to whine and scream he gets to go outside. He also gets to go outside to think if he decides he is uninterested in cooperating. Some apparently find this evil, isolating and sure to warp him in adulthood. They feel the need to placate him or give in to his demands instead. Fortunately, just about the time they can hardly contain their advice, Toldio knocks on the door, we open it to a now smiling kiddo give him a big hug and send him on his way. We all need to vent and to think things out sometimes. Tolido is no different. Instead of giving in to him, we offer him a choice. It goes like this, "Would you like to let Mommy wipe your hands or would you like to go outside and think about it?" We've been doing this for a while so he now usually presents his grubbies for a wipe. If not, he gets to go outside and think. He usually comes back in with paws held high looking for a wipe. ;)

It used to be maddening to me when people couldn't hold their tongues. Like most people, I'm not a fan of unsolicited advice. We've read lots of books and observed many parenting styles. Our method of raising our son is not arbitrary or inconsistent. It is tailored to fit the personality of our child and to fit our lifestyle. It works for us. We all understand it. And we've finally come up with a comical (to us) response to criticism: "Would you like to stop criticizing or would you like to go outside and think about it?" ;)

Knocking Under the Hood

Just over one month ago I took my Honda Accord into the dealership for recommended service at 204,000 miles. Part of the recommended service is having the timing belt replaced. Done! Picked it up at the end of the day, choked down the $1313.12 charge and was quite happy with the overall experience.

This past weekend there appeared a "knocking" in my engine - hmmmm. Hmmmm. After a brief inspection under the hood, it seemed my crankshaft pulley was wobbling in its rotation. This was a bit alarming to me. When the AC compressor kicked on the wobbling became very alarming. Hmmmm. I eventually put the car up on blocks and crawled underneath. There I found the lower cover shielding the timing and balance belts loose - three bolts behind the crankshaft pulley had backed out of their holes and were hitting the back of the pulley - the cause of the "knocking". Okay, not good - sloppy work - but not the cause of the wobbling crankshaft pulley.

I pulled out my Honda do-it-yourself book and found an exploded diagram under "Timing Belt Replacement." Said diagram shows an adjusting nut that goes through the crankshaft pulley, the lower cover, a gear holding the balancer belt, a gear holding the timing belt and into a shaft on the engine block where there is a keyway into which a key fits holding the whole system rigid and helping to maintain harmonic balance. For the crankshaft pulley to wobble, independent of the engine, the adjustment nut must be loose. If the adjustment nut is loose and considering I have driven the car 1411 miles since it was serviced, it is fair to say that the key way may be distorted such that it will no longer hold rigid. Further, if the key way is distorted and the system is out of harmonic balance, resonance caused by torque of the cylinders and vibration of the crankshaft at certain speeds will place stress on the crankshaft that it was not designed to withstand. This will cause the crankshaft to fail.

I'm beginning to get growly. It is imperative that I have reliable transportation - this is why I own a Honda and why I service it at Honda dealerships. They have certified service people. They go to Honda College. If for no other reason than they work on the same frickin engine day in and day out, this should be a fail safe place to bring a car for routine maintenance. I intend to drive this car for another five years. I intend to rack up another 100,000 miles on its tires. I'm hard enough on it that I don't need any help! Especially when I have to pay $1313.12 for such "help."

So, all wound up, I go into battle mode. I draw up my battle plans. I call in reinforcements in the form of my dad who taught me all I know about engines. I run my ideas past him and incorporate his advice. I'm bullet proof and I'm ready for war!

I call the dealership and ask to speak to a service manager. Mark comes on the line. I (remarkably calm and pleasant given the circumstances) tell Mark what the problem is and what I want him to do about it. I'd like him to send a wrecker to pick up my car. I'd like another car to drive while mine is in the shop. I'd like to review the problem with him in person as soon as my car arrives at the dealership. And I'd like him to pull the engine and remove the pulley, the cover, the timing and balance gears and belts all the way back to the key at the engine block where I'd like him to check the tolerance of the keyway. I'd like him to check for damage and replace any parts that are damaged. I finally take a breath and pause for his response. Mark says, "I'm very sorry for the problem. I will call a wrecker right now. Will you be coming in with the car?" WOW...

When I arrive at the dealership, my car is put up on a lift and Mark and I are joined by three mechanics to evaluate the problem. My assessment is confirmed and they remain focused on expert customer service: I'm sorry. We are responsible. We will solve the problem. It is truly an unexpected pleasure to not have to battle someone to do what they should. What does that say about our world anyway?

Keep your fingers crossed that nothing really bad has happened in the heart of my little car. I really really like my car.... a lot.

My Boys

I've got such great boys. Ken is the most calm, patient and loving of fathers and our little Tolido is kind, playful, attentive and friendly. They are absolutely the lights of my life. I think they are just darling. I'm the luckiest girl in the world. :)

 I LOVE YOU GUYS! XOXOXO

Shopping Lunacy

I went to Dillard's yesterday. I HATE to shop. I had one goal - to find a simple white cotton button down, short-sleeved shirt with a bit of gathering at the top of the sleeve 'cuz I like puffy sleeves. So I walk into the store in the men's section, perfume front and center, lingerie off to my left and shoes to the right. Boy's and girl's stuff behind the escalator ahead of me. I've never been in this store before and (I thought) logically assume ladies' clothing is upstairs. I hop on the escalator. I have this fascinating fear of escalators - likely stemming from the fact that I routinely fall up stairs and estimate the probability of making it to the top of a moving staircase on my feet at about 50%. I catch my breath, take an extra little step as I evaluate the menacing metal teeth at the edge of the leading step rotating in my direction and gather the courage step astride the giant mechanical beast. I arrive unscathed at the top, as usual. I find "Formal Occasion," "Womens" and "Petites." I walk around the entire floor twice as I surely must be missing something... did I mention I hate shopping? I would venture to guess that the most prevalent customer in a mall department store would be a woman who would be shopping in the "Misses" section and I would further guess that, as a merchant, you would want this section to capture the customer the minute said customer walked through your fancy glass doors. What the hell is going on? I suppose, as a merchant you could also think that a woman would be the most patient and expend the most effort searching and might also enjoy the hunt. Wrong woman. I left. I still have no white shirt.

I Wish for Words

I know, once he starts, he'll never stop. But that's not a problem for me. I'd just enjoy communicating with him on another level. The sign language, pointing and grunting are cool and all but I'm done with it. He says a buckets worth of words, usually appropriately, sometimes not. He understands everything! (Which has led me to understand that I need to be very careful when venting...) His single words are becoming more clear in pronunciation - awesome! Just jump off the cliff now and... talk... in sentences! Please! We did get a new word this afternoon - BUBBLE. He was very impressed with himself. Ah.. he's cute. I need to work on my patience.

And the kid loves chores. He puts the placemats and coasters away every night after dinner. He cleans up his playroom before his nap and before bed with only a little fussing. If it's made of cloth and it's on the floor, it'll end up in the laundry room, courtesy of Tolido. He's awesome at cleaning up messes - gets down on the floor after eating and picks up any crumbs and puts them in the trash. If he spills his milk, all I have to do is hand him a towel and he'll practically spit shine the floor. He's a wonderful little helper... :) He helps Daddy haul buckets around the yard and gathers plant trimmings into piles and digs in the flower beds with Mommy. And when he's done playing with his trucks and lawn mowers outside, he lines them all up on the patio... See? So cute.

Our new nightly ritual in "light patrol". Just before bedtime Tolido gets to turn out all the lights downstairs. And, if Mommy's home, believe me, they're ALL on. So he gets to choose which lights we turn out - the laundry room or the living room, the playroom or the hallway - until Daddy is left sitting in the dark. Then we dance around in circles and I sing, "Daddy's in the dark. Daddy's in the dark." This is slightly annoying to Daddy but he endures it with a gentle smirk. ;) We LOVE Daddy.

Potty Training

I am not the most patient of mothers so when I heard that potty training little boys sometimes takes six months to a year I was a less than enthusiastic and determined to find a simple, quick training process. After some research I purchased the book, Toilet Training in Less Than a Day and read it several times. For about one month before beginning training we worked on three things: 1) Tolido learned to put on his own pants. 2) Mommy and Daddy demonstrated using the toilet. From, "Oh, Mommy has to go potty..." to using and then flushing the toilet. And always completing with "Mommy uses the potty just like a Big Boy!" All with an audience of inquisitive little eyes. :) Parenting cracks me up! 3) And lastly, we got a potty chair Tolido could easily empty himself and placed it in the bathroom. At every opportunity, we pointed out Tolido's potty seat to him and taught him to sit on it. When the day of training came, I took a day off work and we followed the directions in the book to the letter. Tolido and I spent the day in the kitchen with the potty seat and all the milk, water, OJ and junk food he wanted. The junk food made him thirsty and the drinks gave him MANY opportunities to practice using his potty seat. The goal of training is to make going to the potty an independent activity for your child. So, when Tolido used the potty chair, he was then instructed to pull up his pants and take his potty seat to the toilet, empty it, flush the toilet and return the potty seat to the potty chair. He mastered the process the first day. Over the next few days, we worked on dealing with distractions - toys, Daddy being home, Mommy working, short outings, etc. Soon we realized that lugging a potty chair around was not going to be convenient and that, though Tolido says few words, we needed him to communicate when he needed to go potty and needed assistance. This has been a slower process but we were encouraged by his ability to stay dry through three-hour naps and through the night. Yesterday - two weeks and five days into training - we were standing around talking with friends when Tolido said, "Daddy?" Daddy said, "Yes, Tolido?" Tolido said, "Poo." Daddy didn't quite hear him but Mommy thought she did and said, "What do you need, Tolido?" Toildo said, "Poo." We were down at the park and a long way from the car and the potty. It was the perfect opportunity to teach him to "pee in the woods" but I wanted to see if he would understand that I was trying my level best to get him to the potty and see if he could hold it. So I scooped him up and went dashing across a ravine and half-crawled up a hillside to the car. We got in the car and zoomed up to the house and I let him out. He went straight to him potty seat and sure enough, he had to pee! :) YAY!! GOOD BOY!! There will be more accidents and that's okay. I'm still going to declare him potty trained in just two weeks and five days. Now to teach him to use the grown up toilet and the all important lesson of peeing in the woods! :)

Why Guatemala?

I was just reading a post on Adoption Memoirs wherein Amber says she has been asked the question, "Why don't you adopt domestically and not internationally?" It's a common question. My answer, "I chose to adopt internationally because my son was in Guatemala." It seems like a quick and easy answer. It's not. An ancient Chinese proverb illustrates the belief behind my answer. "An invisible red thread connects us to those we are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break." There was only one child in all of the world my husband and I were meant to adopt in the winter of 2007. He was in Guatemala City. "But.." you say. But nothing.

Spring has come to Texas!

It's beautiful outside. Leaves have come back; warmth has returned. The first of the wildflowers have appeared - bluebonnets. The lawn and the volleyball court are greening up nicely. Daddy's been out on the tractor all weekend grading and elongating the drop off at the edge of the court so nobody breaks their neck shagging a ball. We'll be able to start our weekly neighborhood volleyball games soon! With any luck we'll get some rain and it'll fill up the river and we can teach Tolido to swim and waterski this summer. In the meantime we wander the yard to see what's about to bloom and revel in the newness all around us. There are four bluebird eggs in one of our bird houses and a mockingbird nest tucked safely beneath a big cactus in the front yard. The territorial hummingbird battles have begun at the feeders just outside the dining room. Tolido calls them "ducks" as his eyes dart trying to track them whizzing in circles. Daddy bought us an avocado tree, a blood orange tree and a lime tree this past weekend. We'll plant those this week and then pray for rain. :) Ah, Spring, is there anything better in the world?

Waiting for a Referral

Current wait times have again been revised. :( Looks like eight months for a referral now which slides us into the end of September. BUT... everything stops for two months (August 8 - September 25) for the rainy season. So maybe we'll get our referral before Christmas!! :) Within three months after receiving our referral, we should receive notification of our court date and we should travel about 12 weeks later. By May of 2010, we'll have four smiling faces in the house!

Update on Wait Times

On a call with our adoption agency today, the wait times have been revised. It now looks like we will be waiting about 6 1/2 months for a referral, then 2-3 months to be assigned a court date and another 10 weeks for that court date to arrive. Travel to Ethiopia usually takes place within a month after that court date. Now, that takes us into the rainy season in Ethiopia (mid-June to mid-September) when everything stops for three months. So, it is possible that we may not travel to Ethiopia until late this year or early next year. It's okay, it just gives us that much more time to enjoy the smallness of our family.

Big Brother Training!

Today we received our approved I-171H from CIS. Tomorrow Tolido and I will get it authenticated at the Secretary of State, come back home, PDF it and then burn it and all other dossier documents to a CD. We'll then FedEx everything to the adoption agency and sit back and wait. From this point, we estimate a referral might take anywhere from five to seven months. Then our dossier will make its way through the Ethiopian courts and if all goes well, we hope to see another little smiling face in the house five to eight weeks later. In the mean time, we're going to teach Tolido to talk and snow ski and swim and stand on one foot and kick a ball and all the other good things big brothers ought to know how to do! :)