Shopping Lunacy

I went to Dillard's yesterday. I HATE to shop. I had one goal - to find a simple white cotton button down, short-sleeved shirt with a bit of gathering at the top of the sleeve 'cuz I like puffy sleeves. So I walk into the store in the men's section, perfume front and center, lingerie off to my left and shoes to the right. Boy's and girl's stuff behind the escalator ahead of me. I've never been in this store before and (I thought) logically assume ladies' clothing is upstairs. I hop on the escalator. I have this fascinating fear of escalators - likely stemming from the fact that I routinely fall up stairs and estimate the probability of making it to the top of a moving staircase on my feet at about 50%. I catch my breath, take an extra little step as I evaluate the menacing metal teeth at the edge of the leading step rotating in my direction and gather the courage step astride the giant mechanical beast. I arrive unscathed at the top, as usual. I find "Formal Occasion," "Womens" and "Petites." I walk around the entire floor twice as I surely must be missing something... did I mention I hate shopping? I would venture to guess that the most prevalent customer in a mall department store would be a woman who would be shopping in the "Misses" section and I would further guess that, as a merchant, you would want this section to capture the customer the minute said customer walked through your fancy glass doors. What the hell is going on? I suppose, as a merchant you could also think that a woman would be the most patient and expend the most effort searching and might also enjoy the hunt. Wrong woman. I left. I still have no white shirt.